mikebeauchamp.com

After a few weeks of sending resumes around, I had my first real interview.

I had a few interviews at New Zealand temp agencies already and in fact I had one an hour before this interview, so I had to run to get to this one. This was for a "real" job at a "real" web design firm. You know a web design firm is real when they occupy a loft floor of an old warehouse with unfinished walls and exposed cement pillars. And of course no dot-com company is complete without a fooseball table, which was prominently displayed in the center of the room.

The job was for an "HTML/CSS Programmer" and their office was about 2 blocks from my apartment. Most importantly, they had a Subway restaurant on the main floor. I was taken to the meeting room, which was just a large desk in the middle of the room and thankfully the 6-8 young people were quietly working. The woman I talked to on the phone sat next to me, and the older and overly tanned president of the company sat across from me. At least it didn't feel like an interrogation, unlike my interview with the Wellington Police Department where they sat me infront of a panel of people for an hour and a half.

Their webpage at the time was just a landing-page with their address on it, so I asked them what it is they do. They began by telling me vaguely what their company does. That is, design web pages, book covers and even some video content. Very cool. When I asked them why their website didn't have a portfolio, the president explained that they "don't actually do any business in New Zealand. All of our customers are in the States and we operate under a few different names. We try to keep a low profile...". Red Flag #1.

Then the woman told me that they "sometimes create hundreds of different sites for the exact same thing". Red Flag #2

When I kept asking questions, the president of the company finally dropped the ball and asked "Are you familiar with the term Direct Marketing?"

They got out a laptop and started showing me some of their work. Get rich quick real estate websites, stock tip websites, weight loss pills, etc. They explained that they create hundreds of websites, simply hoping that people enter their e-mail address for more information. They explained how this lets them better advertise products. I asked them "So you guys basically do spam?"

The president replied, "It's an honest business! There are quite a few people making a lot of money doing these sorts of things".

By this time I knew I didn't want to work for the company anyways, so I explained to the boss that "it might be a business in the respect that people are making money, but I definitely wouldn't call it honest". You'd think that by this time, I'd be shown the exit, but instead the boss kept trying to sell me on the idea of Direct Marketing. He said his business is just as legitimate as television shopping (not knowing that I've spent countless hours watching the Home Shopping Network). I tried to explain to him that selling exercise gear and ceramic nick-nacks to old ladies sitting at home isn't what I'd consider legitimate.

This is when he started showing me the books that they've designed. He never actually showed me the books and none of them come up on Amazon or anywhere else. Titles include "Beating the Casino! The secret formula REVEALED!", "Secrets to writing amazing love poems. Write love poems like a romantic!" and "Gnostic Secrets Revealed! Turn On Your DNA & Heal Yourself". You know a book is going to be good when it has exclamation points in the title! I'm convinced that the books don't actually exist and are only used as incentives to lure people to sign up for their websites. In fact, the only website I see mentioning any of these books offers it as a "free gift" if you disable your pop-up blocker and sign up for "more information".

That was pretty much the whole interview. I walked out, grabbed some Subway and went home.

The company has updated their site with a porttfolio section now, so you can check it out! http://webmediafactory.co.nz/

Thankfully, a few weeks later I got offered this "Web Analyst" contract at the Department of Labour. It's not the perfect job (I don't think there are careers in 10 Hour per Day Sleeping Panzarotti Eating Oral Sex Receiving and Giving), but it could be a lot worse. It's strange working in an office setting. If you've never worked in an office, what you see on TV is true; It is an "open concept" maze of dilbert comic covered cubicles and plastic plants. Older women in wool skirts fiddle around the photocopier copier saying "oh dear", wondering why their reports aren't being printed. My job is to mark-up and publish big ugly reports on the DoL's website. The reports are usually big long boring things that nobody ever reads, but that's the government for ya... it's their job to create useless jobs. It's only a 10 minute bike ride to get here and there are showers available for people who bicycle into work, which is pretty cool. There is also a kitchen with a fridge and stove that we aren't supposed to use because "cooking smells" - WTF?. No fooseball table though.